Like many Americans, I was exposed to many elements of the Christian faith in my upbringing. While these days, I am more focused on universal truth and the spiritual side of faith rather than the religious side, there are things from my religious education that have stuck. Perhaps the most positive thing I was taught was a quote attributed to St. Paul of Tarsus. It is in the New Testament in one of his letters to the Thesselonian church/community. wherein he instructs those suffering to, “rejoice evermore.”
I always found that instruction to be fascinating. How in the midst of suffering in our lives can we retain joy? Logically, it makes sense that joy can and should disappear during times of loss, trauma, abuse, sorrow, or anything negative. Being a trauma therapist, I hear many stories of various, horrible abuses and experiences that have scarred the minds (and even bodies) of my clients. This really makes me ponder how such a concept or attitude can even be possible. However, even after decades of being a provider, I still find myself inspired by my clients to return to that theme of rejoicing daily, no matter what happens. Of course, this has only come through years of analyzing and practicing the concept of joy in my own daily life.
The first place I had to start in my analysis was really understanding what joy meant for me. I started, of course, with the literal definition of the word in the English language. According to Dictionary.com, joy is not just a noun in reference to positive feelings of happiness but also a verb that correlates with the word rejoice*. Rejoice is defined as, "to be glad; take delight [or] to rejoice in another's happiness." It is also defined as "to make joyful; gladden: a song to rejoice the heart."**
When focusing on the concept of Joy, or rather, “Rejoicing” as an action, I feel like I began to understand the truth behind the religious teaching that I was exposed to in St Paul's writings. In my interpretation this relates to attitude. Attitude truly is everything. It not only directs our responses to good and bad things that happen to us in life… but also can transform bad experiences into good ones. However, the concept of rejoicing is, I think, not a strong one for us as human beings, especially, in the U.S. We are essentially taught that the material success equates to joy and happiness. In other words, the more you have the happier you are.
I think this is a distortion. While the material can and should help our positive attitudes… by itself it is not enough. Certainly, in trying times, the absence of the material can make us feel as though we are in hellish state. Also, even with an abundance of material, there can still be deep, internal dysfunction. I think that looking at everything (i.e. spiritual, relational, emotional, physical, etc.) internal and external is what strengthens joy. And the place that we must start is with our self-love.
When I say, “self-love”, don’t mean to suggest selfishness or an ego-driven, narcissistic obsession to strengthen joy. I mean, rather, to simply look for the beauty within. We must ask questions like: “What am I good at?” “How do I affect those around me?” “How do others affect me?” “What do I have control of?” “What must I let go of?” and so forth. Starting the journey of inner healing and growth is the first step toward finding the process of being in more consistent state of joy. It is rarely instantaneous, but like any good investment, it is worth it. The more we reprogram our hearts and minds to see the positive in and outside of ourselves, the easier it is to access that joy.
I wish you all nothing but said joy and happiness!
Lynne Penn-Leon, LCSW-C
*https://www.dictionary.com/browse/joy
**https://www.dictionary.com/browse/rejoice