Another year ending… another year beginning! It’s the season for potential celebration, change, growth, and movement. It is also the season for potential stress, sadness, and even loneliness. I know this time of the year can be very challenging in both good and bad ways for each of us; depending on where we are in our individual journeys. The winter holidays (i.e. Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Solstice, etc.) ideally are time of celebration, but can also be a time of challenge.
However, challenge is always… always an opportunity.
“An opportunity for what?” you may ask. A very good question, and a question we must ask ourselves every time we face any type of challenge. The answer, when we really dig deep in our hearts and minds, is the opportunity for ascending from our struggles and pain.
I know this is a relatively wild concept. But, the basis of my work, the work of my peers, my clients, and every human being on this planet in their self-growth is the facing of this challenge head on. We often wish life was a metaphorical elevator, but it is a staircase. We must take the steps forward and upward to overcome whatever pain we are carrying. The methods and tools to do so are wonderfully various and unique to the individual and their experience. As I have written in my previous newsletters, no one person is the same as the other, and so their therapy will always be different.
In writing this newsletter, I really want to emphasize the importance of individual discovery. One can’t just rely on others’ testimonies of success and healing. Don’t misunderstand me, consideration and reflection on other people’s experiences is essential. However, what is equally important is reflecting on your own story… your own tests… your own successes… your own feelings… all the things that make you a unique, special soul.
I often think that the most lost people are the ones who refuse to properly engage in self-reflection. We must look at the strengths and flaws that we possess, objectively and with determination and self-love. It can be painful at first, which throws many off, but the initial pain always… always passes with practice. Fear, conscious and subconscious, is usually what will tempt us to turn away and bury our heads back in the sands of repetitive, numb normality.
Like sailors in a storm, we must steer a course in our mindset forward. Or else, we may be swallowed by the tempest that we are carrying on our backs (i.e. trauma, grief, loss, bitterness, addiction, etc.). While processing our trauma, pain, and anything negative in the past or present, we must adopt the attitude of positive thinking and goal setting to step into a better future. At the same time, we must embrace the process of balancing our lives through boundaries, accountability, self-appreciation, self-care, empathy for others, and by focusing more on the beauty that surrounds us than on the ugliness we feel trapped in.
No matter how low you may feel, remember you have the power to lift yourself up. Not alone, not without help… but that power and potential still resides within you.
The first step is fanning that flame of hope, faith, and determination inside the depths of our hearts… to strengthen and guide us from within.
I wish you all nothing but the most transformative, blessed, and magical of holidays!
Lynne Penn-Leon LCSW-C